How do you put into words walking on the moon? Or summiting Everest? Or falling hopelessly in love? I'm not sure how to describe something so terrifying and exhilarating, so I'll start with the facts.
I'd been dilated 4cm the last few weeks of my pregnancy and my midwives said he was definitely coming early, and when he comes it will be quick.
Right on both guesses.
My contractions started around midnight on Friday the 13th. A short rush woke me up and I knew we'd be meeting our son soon. I was so ready to meet him! My state of mind was focused on getting through the contractions as they sped up. Around 1:30am my water broke at our apartment. My body instantly went into push mode. You could also call it Beast Mode - I'm sure our neighbors thought something very, very bad was happening if they heard me. This baby wanted to come out and I was sure if we didn't leave for the hospital RIGHT THEN I was going to have this baby on our bathroom floor.
From the start Jeff was amazing, helping me work through the contractions, reminding me to breathe, and somehow was able to get me into the car and to the hospital.
We made it to Evergreen by 2:10am. Let's just say I always pictured myself with a little more dignity than I had going on that night. I stepped into the lobby and I was immediately on my hands and knees, bearing down. You couldn't have paid me a million bucks to stop - this kid was ready to meet the world.
My incredible midwife Heather met us there and wheeled me down the hallway, got me in my room just in time, where I could start really pushing. Not surprisingly I was 10cm dilated. I pushed with all my might for about 30 minutes. I have to say this...I loved the pushing part. I love consciously working hard with my baby and my body to get him out.
At 2:51am he was born. 21" long, 7lbs, 5oz! Jeff caught him and put him on my chest. And my heart has never been the same.
And now my boy is almost two months old. I can't tell you how much I love him, because words don't ever suffice for something like this.
I am so, so grateful that his arrival was short and smooth. My heart breaks for my friends who have numerous complications and are left having to focus on the pain and healing, when they should have the joy of focusing on their new baby. But everyone has their own unique experience, and there really is no comparison. I'm just so grateful for ours. For some reason our little Lincoln came into the world this specific way. He came with so much insistence and peace at the same time. I like that about him. I also like that he was born at Christmas time. I like that he smiles when his dad laughs. I like that he is really social and aware. I like that he slept for 5 hours straight last night.
I'm also really grateful for our community of friends and family who have been so excited about his arrival, and really supportive of us. So many amazing gifts have been given, meals were brought, offers were given to babysit and care for him when we need a break, and everyone just loves him so much. We couldn't be richer. Lincoln has no idea how many people love him.
It's such a privilege to be a mother. It's slowly changing me in ways I didn't know it would. And so I pray for my family and my children and my house.
"Let those that are united to me in tender ties
be precious in thy sight and devoted to thy glory.
Sanctify and prosper my domestic devotion,
instruction, discipline, example,
that my house may be a nursery for heaven,
my church the garden of the Lord,
enriched with tress of righteousness of thy planting, for thy glory..."
- The Valley of Vision, puritan prayers
Adventure isn't missing.